The Redemption of Marvin Fuster: 2005 Edition

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I hear the "Raging Fury" Walker figure is banned in most tournament play. We'll have a full correction next week, and Mark will revisit the game as soon as he can. We apologize for the error. This show has spent far, far too long talking about things that are not Heroscape. Today we attempt to remedy that deficiency by talking about Heroscape, which is a game--nay, an experience--nay, a lifestyle! It was a wonderful retail oddity, an overproduced and affordable big box beauty.

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It is why basements were invented. It isn't the greatest game, but it is definitely Heroscape. Do you sometimes feel like having your blind brother hurl spears at you as a party trick? Do you feel the urge to put your hand in a giant wolf's mouth to make your friends feel bad? Do you wish you could ride a chariot pulled by cats for no discernible reason?

Do you long to carry on rambling conversations with a severed head? Do you want days of the week to be named after you? Well, this is your episode! Names are powerful. The Spiel des Jahres means "game of the year" simpliciter, but for years we know that the juries have been casting a narrower and narrower net of what games thay would consider.

It has become more of a specialized imprint, which is fine--but it's strange that the name still inspires such cachet. Anything with rules in excess of 3 or so pages seems now to be firmly beyond the pale as far as the SdJ is concerned. Ah, well, times change, and we are prone to fits of curmudgeonly behavior. We do at least give our rundown of the 3 nominated games.

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Chance of Kolossal Games. They have both had projects canceled by Kickstarter. Credibility, like a butterfly, is a fragile and beautiful thing. Mark is fundamentally opposed to subtlety and ephemeral joy, so he naturally seeks to destroy either whenever he encounters it. When it comes to credibility he does this by routinely making gross over-generalizations. This time he has managed to make an instant replay-esque correction, at least. As for what he does to butterflies, let's just say he manages to make garden parties awkward. Round 1: Tariffs vs. Gaming Goat 28m01s -Papillon rises again?

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Summer is here, friends and neighbours, and with it comes a a thickening of the blood that prompts torpor. We here at SVWAG are part lizard, you see, and so we must budget additional time to sun ourselves and slough off our scales. At any rate, we will be shifting to a summer schedule but still releasing an episode every week--though the magic of segment-swapping. How can such wizardry be true? The secrets are revealed herein! We humble ourselves before you, O merciful audience, so as to lay bare our sins against the gaming world. Granted we toil as rules explainers on the behalf of ungrateful vermin who do not appreciate our labours, but nonetheless we take full responsibility for mildly inconveniencing the filthy ingrates who can't be bothered to read a rulebook.

We implore that these monstrously selfish demons might find it in their paltry hearts and feeble minds to grant us a little mercy.

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We sincerely apologize to these subhuman monsters, we truly do. Then again, I've never seen His portfolio. Anyway, Cthulhu Wars is expensive and so are exciting plans. We spare you the onomatopoeias this week, as our audio editing software cannot process the brightly-coloured spiky expostulations properly.

Walker gets to backpedal at full speed this week, having previously declared his being done with both 1 vs. So he surely wouldn't have any enthusiasm for this 1 vs. Could he?!

Do we care about Mensa? Here's the thing, at least as Mark understands it: acquired tastes are weird. Some things are great the first time. Furthermore, some things are easy and great the first time. Take chocolate, for example. Most people start out champs at eating chocolate. Mark tried to get good at something once, but he found out that requires effort. Who has time for ten thousand hours when there's elite-level candy consumption to be had?

Walker on the other hand laments Mark's narrow little horizons. Today is a telling day in the annals of SVWAG, especially with respect to Mark coming to terms with his own essential wrongness. He gets to partially repent for his tonal excesses with respect to the AYURIS; he gets to mull over painful loves lost in Billionaire Banshee; and he gets to realize that once again that while Walker cares deeply about people, he cares mostly about stuffing his face and listening to loud music. The e-mail addresses that you supply to use this service will not be used for any other purpose without your consent.

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